


Don't walk away

by Jexca



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3418766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jexca/pseuds/Jexca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hey, so this is a mainly Hollence fanfic I've already posted on Tumblr (I changed the name, don't know why to be honest), so, well, I hope whoever reads this enjoys it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of these characters, of course

Laura woke up to find herself still resting in Carmilla’s arms the day after. She smiled wide and tried her best not to shake her bed too much as she spun on her hips to check Carmilla. Her eyes were shut and Laura almost believed she was still asleep, were it not for the slight chuckle she let out as Laura’s cold breath reached her cheek.

"Morning, sweetheart" Carmila mumbled while stretching her legs under the blanket. She thought of a cliché morning kiss, but laughed quietly and shook the thought away when she realized her breath was not so inviting.

Laura slowly got out of the bed, replying to Carmilla’s crackled “morning” as she leaped over her on her way to their wardrobe.

None of them knew what time was it, and none of them actually cared.

Laura stopped between their beds, not sure what she was going to do next. She heard Carmilla brush her teeth as she closed the wardrobe and wandered around the room.

Then she remembered something.

Her heart froze for a second as the guilt took over her body, now shivering in worry. She heard the bathroom door knob being pulled and turned around quickly to find Carmilla getting back into the room. She stopped for a moment, the black curls falling onto her eyes.

"What?" she mumbled, walking slowly towards Laura "Cat got your tongue?"

Laura smirked and rolled her eyes lightly as she finally released her breath. Carmilla landed one hand on Laura’s waist. Laura smiled and rested her hands softly on Carmilla’s chest in response.

"I don’t know. Did you?"

They both laughed, a bit nervous, and Carmilla grabbed Laura’s chin with her free hand. She pulled her close for a kiss and felt Laura’s lips form a smile onto hers. She couldn’t help but close her eyes. She thought of how close to death she got the day before. Or the day before it. She just didn’t feel like keeping track of time was the most important thing after that battle. She glanced at Laura, inhaled her scent and felt that closeness who keep her smiling and thinking of how their souls seemed to merge in one whenever they kissed. It felt good to be in love. It felt even better to know the one she loved was alive and well, thanks to her. You don’t get to actually save the whole school everyday. The wounds still stung on her skin, but she was getting used to it. Now that her mother was officially gone, she finally realized physical pain was nothing compered to heart sorrow. She smiled and pulled Laura for another kiss, now with a lot more intent, and way less insecurity. She was alive. They all were. And that was something to celebrate.

 

Ten minutes later Laura closed her backpack and took a look around the room for any missing notebook. Carmilla watched her from her bed where she read a random book found on her desk. She wanted Laura to spend the whole day by her side, but couldn’t manage to find the words to say it without sounding clingy or desperate. It didn’t matter if it was in their room or under a tree, she just wanted it badly. Laura grabbed ther backpack and leaned her head towards Carm’s.

"Are you coming with me?"

Carmilla held back a smile, rolled her eyes instead. It was still great to play hard to get.

"Where are you going, again?"

"I’ll check Perry and LaFontaine, then I’ll do something I have not done in a long time. Attend some classes, and see how far the rumours of my weird roommate coming back to life had gone."

Carmilla chuckled and tried to hide it by running her finger tips on her lips.

"Alright."

"Meet me at the cafeteria" Laura quickly added.

"Okay. I’ll just change my clothes, you can go. I’m right behind you."

Laura nodded and waited for Carmilla to stand up so she could leave. She just needed to reassure herself none of what she actually planned on doing would changed how she felt, how Carmilla made her feel. She pulled Carmilla for a kiss and Carmilla laughed in surprise. She kissed her gently twice, and only let go of Carmilla when the certainty in her heart seemed enough for the walk. She left the room and closed the dor behind her with a low click, staring deeply at the path she always took to Perry’s room. Then spun on her feet and went the other way around.

 

Danny stared at her own image in the mirror and cursed herself for being so silly. Laura would never now about the stupid dream she had a week ago. She would never feel the weight of carrying your beloved one’s someone else on your own arms all the way to where your hopes tossed until they disappeared. She would never read the smashed notes stained by Danny’s tears on her trash can. She would never hear of anything related to how Danny felt anymore. And the reflection of her tall self in the mirror was there to reassure her on that. She pulled the bandage from her nose and stared deeply at the scar lying there when someone knocked on the door. Danny did not move her eyes away from her reflection. Whoever was this on her door could wait a day or a whole year if she felt like. She didn’t need anyone else. She looked at her own eyes and was thankful for the strength burning behind them. They were blue windows into her wounded soul. If somebody ever thought last night was too much for her to take, they were wrong. Her mom always said, “the pain that brings tears out of your eyes will always be the easiest pain to deal with”. She just had to wipe the tears away and part of the problem was gone. She carried worse scars under her skin. Last night was just another cut. She threw the bandage away as she heard a second knock.

She calmly turned around and walked to her door, no hurry in her pace or eye look. She pulled the knob and was surprised at how still she remained after finding Laura with her fist up on the hallway, ready for another knock.

They stood there in silence for five seconds, no one saying a word or starting a chat, even though Laura was there to speak something. She looked down at her feet and swallowed the shame. Danny kept waiting.

"I need to talk to you for a second, can I come in?"

Danny raised an eyebrow and stepped aside, opening the door wide. Laura slowly entered the room, keeping her hands together, still unable to look Danny straight in the eyes. She thought again on what to say, rearranging the sentences she once found perfectly set.

"Should I keep the door open?" Danny’s voice filled the whole room and reached Laura. She closed her eyes tightly, desperation began to rise inside her, warming up her already stressed limbs. She nodded as she pulled out an effort to bring Carmilla’s taste back to her lips and mind. She just thought it would be easier to face Danny after all that happened.

"Yeah", she replied. "It won’t take too long anyways". She turned around mumbling. Danny walked a few steps ahead, her arms crossed over her white tank top. The closer she got, the quicker the words slipped from Laura’s mouth. She felt stupid, but at least she finally said something.

"Look, Danny, I just want to tell you that I really wished it worked… Between us, you know. I just want it to be clear that if you ever felt something for me, it was reciprocal. If… If only Carmilla didn’t…"

"Don’t. Don’t force yourself into saying that" Danny interrupted her firmly, rushing towards Laura in an unconscious way. "You don’t have to say it out loud, you already blame yourself for thinking so and that’s enough pain for you to carry right now. She showed up ‘cause it was meant to happen."

Laura glanced up at Danny but then brought her eyes right back to her shoes. She shrugged sadly. Honestly, she thought that whatever she said would just make Danny hug her or something. She thought of what to say in a way she didn’t hurt Danny, but at that moment Danny seemed… unswerving. Like she couldn’t hurt her even if she tried.

"I wanted to be with you, I’m not gonna lie."

Danny smiled gently.

"I felt that."

Laura smiled back, less nervous than before.

"But I also felt the distance grow, that’s something we can’t just hide. You had feelings for me, I had feelings for you. The difference is that I kept mine."

Laura looked at Danny’s eyes for a second, like the last sentence just forced her into it. Danny’s eyes were still and passive. She uncrossed her arms and stepped ahead until her face were just mere inches away from Laura’s. They looked at each other for a moment. Laura felt her cheeks blush and swallowed any word back. Danny put her hands on Laura’s shoulder.

"I kept them but I know how to let them go. It takes some time, but they die once and for all". Danny kept her eyes glued to Laura’s, and that actually didn’t even bother Laura any longer. She was being tested, and the warmth in her chest told her she had failed. "Do you feel something?" Danny asked.

Laura closed her eyes, just kept them closed as long as she could, and tried focusing only on Danny’s voice. Maybe getting her out of her sight and replacing her eyes with darkness would help her put her shit back together. She did good so far, she just needed a short dosage of courage to get to the end.

"I still wished we could be together, Danny", Laura whispered back as tears formed in her eyes.

Danny saw the sadness take over Laura’s eyes as she opened them back, but she wanted words, a full sentence, she was done with reading emotions.

"Do you feel something?" she repeated, pulling Laura close by her shoulders. For the first time she felt no urge to say she was sorry and hug Laura for her good. She just wanted a straight answer.

"I do", Laura whispered, now crying.

Danny let go of her shoulders and walked backwards until her feet bumped on the door stop. She laid a hand on the door knob and proceeded to say.

"I know it’s hard for you to pick a side, so I’ll make this easier on you."

Laura raised her chin and stared at Danny, wipping the tears from her cheeks and eyes so she could get a clear sight. Danny waited for her to approach her and started closing the door calmly. Laura had no idea what she meant until Danny pointed a steady finger to the hallway. Her voice did not shake, she barely blinked. And that was not a result of anger or grief. It was called certainty, and Laura feared that was her last chance to say anything she could ever think of saying even in the future. She felt that door close even though it was still open. Danny closed her eyes for a second then brought it all out.

"I don’t want to be around you anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

Danny shut the door bluntly and stood there for a minute. She couldn't hear Laura's voice on the other side. She wished there was a low cry. She wished what she just said had hurt Laura. She closed her eyes, rebuked herself for that thought.  
"You're better than this" she mumbled as she walked back to her restroom. "It's over, there is no going back. Doesn't matter who finished it. It's over. And that's just how it was supposed to go, Lawrence". Her voice went out of tune at the last words.  
She stared at herself in the mirror and chuckled.  
"Since when do I talk to myself that loud?"  
She noticed her cell phone on the wet sink counter and picked it up. It was 9am. She had enought time for a shower and a quick visit to the cafeteria, so she threw a towel onto the glass shower stall and took off her clothes. She jumped in and leaped backwards when the cold water stream hit her skin. That happened all the time and yet her reaction remained the same. She held her breath then stepped ahead. Her phone rang at the counter top just as she filled her hands with shampoo.  
"Noooo" she whispered. She quickly opened the glass door but stopped the moment she realized she didn't care. There was no reason for such a rush. All the texts she used to get were Laura's and it was always her asking for help. Danny didn't feel like saving anyone anymore, so she stepped back into the stall and let the notification tune fade out. Screw that. First the door, now that? Duty could wait. She closed her eyes and finished washing her hair. The phone lit up and cried again. Danny ignored it. Three minutes later, when she was already wrapped in the towel, it rang once again. But now it wasn't a text or any app notifications. The tune was long and loud. Someone was calling her. Her heart froze then started beating twice as quick as she read the name of the contact calling her.  
"MOM" she said as she brought it to her ear.

Laura dragged herself to Perry's dorm, staring at her own feet all the way. Did that really happen? Because that was not what she got ready for. Yeah, it was over, but it didn't happen the way she planned. She was the one supposed to... dump... Danny. She wasn't supposed to be the one dumped. Whatever. She tried to convince herself it didn't matter. But it did. Otherwise she'd be looking up, not studying the ground. She stopped by Perry and LaF's door and raised her fist to knock on it but it opened as quick as she could blink.  
"Oh, hi, Laura", Perry smiled at her from where she stood. She wore green gloves and held a spray bottle in one hand and a sponge in the other.  
"Hum, hi, how are you guys?"  
"Oh, we're fine!" Perry said as she opened the door wide and brushed the sponge against the wooden door. "Actually, LaFontaine is already back to h... their own self. Apparently some new samples of "harmless" microbes arrived at the bio lab and the bio majors thought it would be fun to spread them all over the campus" she brushed the door harder on the last words.  
"It's no big deal, Perr" LaFontaine said as they stepped into the hallway, scrubbing their hair and rolling their eyes. "I told you they're just regular microbes."  
Perry halted.  
"Oh, right, 'cause regular microbes can't be found anywhere, so the university decided to spend money and buy them!" she replied. "These are not harmless microbes, and you can't convince me otherwise."  
LaFontaine chuckled.  
"Perr..."  
"Nuh-huh" Perry raised her index finger. "Please, let me finish this."  
LaFontaine sighed and walked towards Laura as Perry kept cleaning the door. They crossed their arms and spoke low with a suggestive smile on their face.  
"So what it's like to have your vampire roommate back?"  
Laura shrugged, trying to stop herself from saying too much.  
"Well, you know... Everything is back to normal."  
"You kissed."  
Laura couldn't hold back her smile.  
"Yeeeeah, we did."  
LaFontaine chuckled and punched Laura's shoulder softly.  
"There you go, crush on vampires! I told you. And... how's Danny taking it?"  
Laura seemed to stop hearing for a second. She looked right at LaF then glanced at the wall behind them. Then at Perry, who by that time had already finished cleaning the door and had her gloves off. She wanted to hear the answer too.  
"Huh... Well, I haven't actually talked to her... I mean, no, actually I've just visited her and, you know..."  
"Didn't go well?" LaF completed.  
Laura sighed and looked back at her feet. What was the point in lying about it right now? Was she so beetle-head she couldn't just admit she lost it? She shrugged again.  
"Not actually. But we're now clear."  
"So no tomato this time?" LaFontaine said, unable to keep themselves from laughing. Perry slapped their shoulder and, eyebrows frowned, shook her head and looked at Laura.  
"It's okay" Laura said with a shy smile on. "So, I dropped by just to check how you guys were doing. I'm gonna meet Carmilla at the cafeteria now, so I better get going. See you two later?"  
"Yeah, yeah" LaF and Perry nodded and spoke at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled as Laura walked away. Of course they didn't know any of what had happened some minutes before. Laura sighed deeply and kept her eyes closed until she couldn't keep it anymore. She saw Danny close that door again and thought what the hell she was supposed to do about it. Go back and start another talk? Nope. That'd probably just drive Danny insane and last time that happened she ended up with a bump on the head. Still, she almost felt like there was a giant magnet forcing her into considering going back. Maybe if she just knocked on her door and... Whatever. It didn't matter. Laura did her best to ignore the need. She closed her eyes again and thought of Carmilla. After the unfortunate visit to Danny that morning she almost forgot how exciting it felt to know they kissed. She smiled and kept moving onwards with nothing but a blurry sight of whatever stood ahead. She remembered how it felt like to get her face clumsily laid in Carmilla's wavy hair and could almost feel it in her skin. She opened her eyes in panic when she bumped on something. She looked down at the plastic trash can and sighed. She was already at the cafeteria. Glancing all over the place, she found Carmilla about to pick a table. She looked exactly the same way. Utterly bored and not amused. Laura laughed and rushed towards the table, put her backpack on it and sat down.  
"Hi!"  
"Hi" Carmilla replied, smirking. She thought of saying something but held herself back. Just raised one end of her lips instead. "So you're finally attending classes again, aren't you?"  
Laura shrugged.  
"And that's clearly the bad part of the end of our operation."  
Carmilla laughed, tousling an empty package of small cookies.  
"Want some?" she said, pushing a plate full of them towards Laura.  
"Thanks" Laura said as she picked one. "So how does it work? You're actually able to eat and drink stuff other than blood, right?"  
Carmilla smiled wide.  
"Yeah. Blood is a need but we won't die if we eat anything different. You'll need more than fat and sugar to put down a vampire" Carmilla said, taking enough care to not be heard by anyone but Laura, who laughed back really loud. "But hey, don't you have classes in like, five minutes?"  
Laura's eyebrow raised automatically quick.  
"Yeah" she whispered.  
"A'right, you're not the only one" Carmilla said, standing up and putting the chair back to where it was before. "See you later, yeah?"  
Laura kept the palm of her hands glued to the cold granite table. It took some effort to raise her eyes at Carm without looking clearly shaken.  
"Yeah. See you in our room."  
Carmilla smiled, saluted and turned around. Laura didn't blink until she was out of sight. She had to get ready for her lit class.

 

Laura spent the next hours glancing at Danny's desk. They were one hour deep into the lit class and there were still no signs of her. She was starting to get worried and would eventually call the teacher whenever he was helping some other students so he'd feel tired an explain why the TA wasn't there. She got no answers. She did manage to frustrate the teacher but not even him seemed to know Danny's whereabouts. Laura rewinded 'til she found herself in Danny's room, standing right in front of her like a tamed child. Danny didn't seem sick at all. Despite the remaining bruises of the battle, she actually had no wounds or signs of illness. It was definitely something else. She tried to think of Danny's family. She never talked about any of her relatives. Were it not for random references to her mother and younger siblings, Laura could almost swear Danny was an orphan. She tried to figure out what kind of problem could drag her out of the college so suddenly. The bells rang all over the hallways and the students rushed their way out of the classrooms to have their breaks. Laura waited until there was no one left and walked slowly towards professor Millen. He adjusted his thick glasses and rubbed his hand against his bald head top when Laura started asking.  
"Hum, no, Laura. Lawrence actually told me she had some issues to solve today but didn't go too deep on that. Why are you asking?"  
Laura raised her eyebrows but didn't move her eyes.  
"Huh, it's nothing, I actually just needed some... advice. But thank you anyways, professor Millen."  
He left the room and she was there alone. Danny's desk was still empty.  
"Damn it, Danny. What the fuck did I do?"

The next two hours were even worse. Laura did not have the patience to look around anymore. If she looked at the empty desk one more time she would probably stand up and yell at it for five days. She kept pushing her fingertips against her temple and scribbling stuff over the papers she was handed. When the last bell finally rang she slid her backpack onto her right shoulder and crossed that door before everyone. She marched towards her room and didn't stop for anything. She turned out to stumbled on five or six Zeta Omega Mu bros and was not amused to realize their catcalls sounded like pingeons cooing to her worried ears. She bursted into the room and Carmilla's surprised expression kinda helped her hiding the tension that pulled her down the last four hours.  
Carmilla left the book she read on her own bed and walked up to Laura, closing the door behind her.  
"So? How was your day?"  
"A smelly mount of feces?" Laura thought. "It was fine" Laura replied as gently as she could. Carmilla raised an eyebrow in response.  
"So are you back at geeking?"  
"Not actually" Laura said, throwing her backpack onto her bed.  
"Woah, what was that?" Carmilla asked in surprise.  
"What was what?" Laura said as she sat behind the backpack.  
"Since when do you throw your backpack like that...? You know... Nevermind" she smiled. But her smile quickly faded away, not to turn into a mad expression, just a "there was something I had to say but I don't remember what is it" way. She snapped her fingers and pointed to the door.  
"Your previous girlfriend dropped by this afternoon"  
Laura jumped from her bed and wriggled her fingers.  
"Danny was here?!"  
Carmilla stepped back, raised her hands.  
"I'm sorry, what?! Yeah" she said with a bitter voice tone. "Who else could your previous girlfriend be?!"  
Laura covered her mouth in desperation. It took her some time to realize the outcome of what she said.  
"No, that's not what I meant, Carm, you know she was not my girlfriend."  
Carmilla slowly put her hands down and nodded indifferently. At least that was what she intended to look like.  
"Right, whatever. She seemed like she had something to say but then she just entered the room and pulled something from under your keyboard. I turned around to get some drink, so I don't know what she took. When I turned back she was already leaving. The weird part is that she actually said goodbye. A polite goodbye."  
Laura rushed towards her computer and turned it on. Carmilla slowly stopped behind her.  
"What? You think it was on when she took it? Come on, Laura, what could she take? A cookie? A bubble gum?"  
Laura halted and looked down at the keyboard. She shouldn't be doing that in front of Carmilla. Why was she acting so stupid?  
She just nodded and stood up, pushing her chair away and staring deeply at Carmilla's eyes. She didn't know how confused she was until they seemed blue to her own. She closed her eyes as hard as she could and pulled Carmilla by her waist, kissed her as tenderly as the moment allowed 'cause it felt like a nightmare and she needed something to wake her up from it. Carmilla replied by replacing Laura's hands around her neck and led the kiss instead. Laura didn't seem to be on the tracks to get anything done right and Carmilla could feel that. The night fell and as Carmilla dejectedly read more pages of the book in Laura's bed, Laura pulled out some homework to do. But the letters gave her headache. She just needed the papers to pretend they were the greatest worries of the day. At some point in the night Carmilla crawled out of Laura's bed and went to the restroom to take a shower. Laura sat on her chair and turned on the computer, opened the directory where her videos were placed and pressed play on the latest one. The length was unbelievable. Something around seven hours. She clicked on different parts of the progress bar until she found Carmilla and Danny on the same take.  
It happened exactly as Carmilla said. Danny grabbed a green piece of paper from under Laura's computer and started to turn around as if she was about to leave. But then she stopped, while Carmilla still opened the soda can, and walked to the restroom, disappearing from the video. Two seconds later she was already back. Mumbled the so said polite goodbye and walked away from their room. Laura stared blindly at the screen. She turned the computer off and waited for Carmilla to get out of the restroom, picked one of her towels and went to her shower. She locked the door silently and threw everything she had in her hands onto the counter top. She kneeled before the trash can, which was almost empty, and prayed she would find that God damn green thing in there. Whatever was written in it, Danny wanted her to read it. She threw it in Laura's trash can so she'd have to decide if that note was garbage or a second chance. Laura found it and picked it up carefully, then stopped before untousling it. She quickly did and sat down on the floor as she read the words affectionately arranged in a clean handwritting. She folded the note twice and put it in her back pocket after reading it.

"Just as your eyes and my eyes admit each other things we can't say,  
you look away".

She wished she could say something, even though she didn't know what to say. But Danny was somewhere else Laura didn't know. At the same time Laura kept on with the shower and watched her tears merge with the water, Danny got out of the bus and arrived at her hometown. And Laura still didn't know that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A'right so, I'll try and say that without spoiling the whole chapter, but this is the chapter where I introduce a new character, and there's something I should explain about her. She's a character in another favorite show of mine and I took advantage of her last name to do a kind of crossover. Enough said. Once her name is revealed, watch the shoooow jk hope you guys enjoy it!

Danny jumped onto the sidewalk, coughing and waving her hands to shake the black smoke away. She glanced around the small town in front of her. Tall grey buildings replaced the stores and houses she used to remember. But the park ahead remained the same. She walked onwards, watching kids throw dust at each other and old folks play cards on concrete tables. She took a step to cross the park, but someone grabbed her by her shoulders.  
“Danny?! Oh my God, you’re so tall!”  
Danny turned around, looking at the old lady smiling gently at her. What was her name? Danny frowned her eyebrows, reading names in her mind. Whitley? Watson? Whyte? Before she could say anything, the woman disappeared, coming back seconds later with four other ladies on her tail.  
“Oh boy”, Danny whispered.  
“We haven’t seen you in ages!” one of them screamed.  
“Is that Abby’s daughter? The second one?” she heard one ask another.  
“What brought you back, darling?”  
Danny opened her mouth to answer, but they wouldn’t stop dropping questions.  
“No, ma’am, no boyfriend. Yes, ma’am. Still in college. Yeah, same course. No. No boyfriends.”  
Danny sighed. The more she answered, the more they asked. She had to go before they smothered her with more questions.  
“If it’s okay with you girls, I really have to go now”. They stared right at her in confusion then resumed the chatter. She ran her fingers through her hair, almost feeling like pulling it off of her head.  
“No, Mrs. I am not going to see my boyfriend!”  
Te ladies stepped away, mumbling excuses that would only lead to more questions. Danny forced a smile and walked away, leaving the park and the non-stop talking ladies behind.  
She walked for three blocks, studying all the houses in the street she once used to live at. Most of them had not even been repainted. The colors were mostly the same. She soon reached her house. Her family’s house. It was still painted in the same light steel blue. That color used to bring her some peace when her father would tell the kids to play outside, then locked her mom inside, where he usually started a war.  
She took a deep breath then walked up the three stairs that led to the balcony. She heard laughter coming from the living room. She could hear four different voices. Her mom’s voice was the only one that didn’t change.  
She knocked on the door four times in a row. It didn’t overcome the laughter. She knocked again. The chatter ceased. Someone ran to the white door, in socks. The door opened abruptly. Danny stared down at the little girl in front of her, both of them had eyes wide open in shock and disbelief. Before Danny could say a word, her youngest sister jumped into her arms, hugging her as tight as she could.  
Danny laughed at her struggle.  
“I missed you so bad!”  
Melanie smiled and kissed her in the cheek.  
“We missed you too.”  
Danny put her on the floor, pretending to get worn out by the movement.  
“Jesus! You’re so big! What have you been eating?”  
The little girl shrugged, unable to hide her proud smile.  
“Can you believe that 10 years old boys and girls fight to see who’ll get me in their soccer team during break matches? And I’m still eight!”  
Danny listened carefully to every single word. She thought Melanie was six. She adjusted the backpack on her shoulders and as she swerved away from the couch, answering her sister, she raised her eyes to find her mother standing right before them.  
She stood still for a moment. Not only her voice was the same but also her mom didn’t seem to have aged a day since she left. Tears of joy rolled down her face. She had the brightest of smiles on her lips. Danny ran towards her, hugging her tightly. Her mother was free. She couldn’t believe that. Everything Danny ever wished for as a child, whenever she blew out a birthday candle, was to set her mother free one day. She laughed like a fool when she heard she did that by herself. Their father left the house some days before, agreeing to stay out of their lives. Under oath, after he was dragged to a court.  
Her mother stepped aside, looking up at the daughter she hadn’t seen for two years. She brushed away the tears from Danny’s cheek and kissed her in the forehead. Of course Danny had to bend down a bit.  
“Hi, my baby girl”, her mother said. Danny chuckled and pulled her close.  
“Hi, mom.”  
Danny saw a blonde lady staring at them on the background, a few steps ahead, smiling softly. The one who called her in the morning. The fierce one. Her oldest sister.  
Janice stepped ahead, pulling Danny for a long hug. Danny didn’t move. Janice was so strong, in every way. She moved out when Danny was fifteen. She couldn’t keep up with their abusive father any longer. Janice was nineteen. She got a job she never mentioned, but when she left she made her dad a promise. Danny recalled watching it from the window in the balcony. Janice took the remote away from their father’s hand and pushed her face closer to his until he sank completely in his seat.  
“I’m moving out so that I don’t kill you next time you do that. But don’t you dare thinking, even for a second, that I won’t be watching you. I’ll be watching every single step of yours. I’ll watch you sit that fat sexist ass in this chair every night, I’ll watch every single beer can you push down your throat, and if I see you touch my mom or any of my siblings, I’ll kill you. And I’ll have the friends to make sure I’ll walk away.”  
She threw the remote at his lap and turned. Said goodbye to their mom, Melanie and their brother Nicholas, hugging every single one of them and telling them she loved them. She then disappeared into the hallway that led to the bedrooms. Danny opened the main door and waited for Janice to get back. When she did, they both walked outside. Janice smiled sadly and rested her hands on Danny’s shoulder.  
“You were watching, weren’t you?”  
Danny put her head down.  
“Yeah” she mumbled. Janice smirked.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“When will you come back?”  
Janice looked away.  
“Not any time soon. I have something great prepared for myself, and when it’s time, I’ll come back and take all of you with me” she said as she smiled. Danny did her best to pretend she was happy.  
“But you said you’d be watching.”  
“And I will! I’ll keep a spy over here” she shook Danny by her shoulders “Call me in case anything happens, okay?”  
Danny nodded. “Okay.”  
“Promise me?”  
“I promise. Promise you’ll come back?”  
Janice laughed. “I promise.”  
They both started crying. Janice hugged her as tight as she could, knowing that could be the last time. Danny sank her face on Janice’s shoulder and closed her eyes, let the tears soak her shirt. Two minutes later, Janice was disappearing down the street. Janice would call them once a month. They never met again, and neither did their father try to hurt any of them. When Danny was nineteen, she decided the house had enough peace for her to leave and go on with her own life. She found a job in a city nearby, shared an apartment with a co-worker, and months later started college. In the first week she got a call from an unknown number. She picked up her phone and her “hello” was ran over by Janice’s excitement. She got the job. She was not even in their country anymore. All that Danny heard was that her sister was now a police officer in Los Angeles. Danny was so happy for her she even wished she could visit her just to see her in her uniform.  
Now they were there, in the same house, face to face again, after seven years.   
“How’s your job?”  
Janice pushed Danny away, laughing out loud. “Girl, it’s a total mess! I could tell you more but, right now… We have to celebrate!”  
Danny nodded, glancing all over the house. “Where’s Nicholas?”  
“Oh, he’s…” Janice started. Danny heard footsteps coming from the hallway then running right back into it.  
“He’s hiding” Janice whispered.  
Danny put a big smile on her face and sneaked her way to the hallway. It was too dark but she could see a white shirt at the end.  
“Do you know where Nicholas is?” she yelled, walking onwards as if she didn’t see him. He suppressed his laughter as she approached, crouching as much as he could until Danny’s feet bumped on his.  
“OH MY GOD, MOM, THERE’S SOMEONE IN THE HALLWAY!” Danny shouted.  
“It’s me!” he said, laughing, hugging Danny’s legs.  
“JESUS CHRIST, NICHOLAS. YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK, DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!” Danny said as she grabbed him by his arms and made him stand, turning the lights on. “And you, how old are you?”  
“I’m ten” he replied.  
“Well, young enough to still love me!” Danny said, pressing her lips as hard as possible against his pink cheeks.  
“Just… Promise you won’t do that in front of my friends” he mumbled as they went back to the living room. Danny laughed all the way.  
Janice ordered two giant pizzas and they small talked while they waited. Danny did not feel like telling them the latest weird ass things that happened to her and the others at Silas. It was too much for anyone. Whenever they asked her about love interests, she changed subjects. When she ran out of news to tell, she left the living room and went to her bedroom. It shocked her that it was the same way she left it. People usually did that when the person had died. She didn’t die. They could have simply thrown her stuff away. She didn’t use them anymore. She sat at her old bed and stared outside the window. As she glanced around her room she found something that caught her attention.  
“Oh, crap!” she stood up quickly, laughing as she picked up her old black guitar. It was covered in dust but was totally playable. She looked back at the window then jumped through it and sat by a swing chair on the balcony. She was not even sure she could even play it anymore. She played some random chords to give herself some time to remember any song she once was able to play. Soon one of them came up on her mind. But the delivery guy was knocking on their door and Janice stared at her from the window.  
“Aren’t you gonna eat?”  
“Um, yeah!” Danny put the guitar down, leaning it against the wooden wall, then stood up and got back into the living room, now through the front door. She ate four slices of the pizza, paying full attention at what her family talked meanwhile. Apparently Nick, who Danny found out to be ten, was not doing as great as Melanie at school. Still he was great at sports and would take his little sister to the sport court four streets down to teach her his soccer technique. Her mother said her father left but would be back in three days just to get the rest of his stuff. Janice got it straight that she’d be there and would follow him throughout the house in the said day. And things were awful in Los Angeles for her and her team. She got a whole week break to visit her family. Danny tried to figure out the reason. When Nick and Melanie left the room to play some board games, Janice started to explain.  
“Our unit… It’s a pandemonium at the moment. Our lieutenant was kidnapped by a guy who also shot Ben – my colleague – and killed the guy who got him out of the asylum. Our captain decided we should visit or families before he could reach us.”  
Danny raised her eyebrows but her eyes didn’t move.  
“So you’re going to get killed? Cool. Can you hand me the mustard?”  
They laughed. Their mom stared at them in shock.  
“It might happen” Janice replied, scrubbing her blonde short hair. “But to be honest I just wanted to see you. The whole break thing is more like an excuse so I don’t sound emotional or weak.”  
Danny chuckled.  
“So you’re not here to stay?”  
Janice shook her head in a negative sign. Their mother look down at the table and started rubbing her fingertips against it. Janice laid a hand on her shoulder.  
“Don’t worry, mom. This guy… He won’t come after me. He has a thing for my boss, not for me. He stalked her. We’re working to get her back, but…” her voice failed. “Right, never mind, I’m getting you two too deep into this matter.”  
“Oh, honey. Tell us everything you need to tell. We’re here to listen.”  
Danny nodded. “Yeah. If I had a badass job I’d totally share the events with you.”  
Janice smirked and stood up, grabbing the plates as their mom picked up the empty boxes. “I’ve already said everything, anyways.”  
Danny watched her mom and sister go to the kitchen, where they resumed the conversation. She went right back to the balcony, grabbed the guitar and tried the chords that had been echoing in her head during the whole lunch.  
She tried a G. It was not a G. She tried another chord and it sounded perfect in her head. She failed the next chord, but then remembered it one more time. She kept sounding the six strings until she reached the chorus. She looked around to make sure no one was listening. She wanted the lyrics just for herself.  
It started shy, as if she was just reading it, but after some time she was already singing. Low, but singing.  
“All because of you, I haven’t slept in so long. When I do I dream I’m drowning in the ocean, longing for the shore where I can lay my head down… Inside these arms of yours. All because of you, I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, not the kind with halos. The kind that brings you home, when home becomes a strange place, I’ll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out…”  
She stared at the guitar for a second then leaned her back of her head against the chair. She closed her eyes and sighed. Singing songs to someone who couldn’t even listen was the complete opposite of letting go. She brought her hands to her face and roared.  
“Just get the fuck out of my mind. You’re. Not. Fucking. Welcome” she mumbled. She opened her eyes, and there was Janice, hands on her waits, giving Danny the best of her oldest sister look.  
“You better talk about it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in case anyone is wondering (no one is but I've gotta promote my faves), the song Danny played on the previous chapter is "The good left undone", by Rise Against. Also the title of this fanfic comes after Sick Puppies' "Don't walk away", and Danny's sister, Janice, is, or is meant to be, Janice Lawrence, the bad ass TAU agent of the TV show Stalker. Anyway, here it goes chapter four, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Carmilla watched Laura sleep from her bed. She envied her for sleeping so deep. Something had been bugging her the whole day and now would not even let her keep her eyes shut for longer than a minute.  
Laura had only small talked to her since she left the shower and went straight to bed, mumbling a tasteless "good night". Of course it had to do with Danny. Carmilla was not stupid to not realize that.  
It was 10pm. Half of the campus was already asleep. She walked out of their room and made her way to Danny's.

Carmilla lost track of how many times she had knocked on the door by the time a young couple walked into the hallway. She felt like she had been sitting there on that floor and playing with her bands for a whole week.  
The boy and girl kissed.  
"See you tomorrow?" the boy asked.  
The girl kept glaring at Carmilla from over her shoulders. Carmilla rolled her eyes in response.  
"Sure" the girl answered, smiling at her boyfriend and kissing him again. After a long minute, the boy walked away, leaving Carmilla and the girl alone.  
"May I help you?" the girl asked as she unlocked the door, balancing three books on her free hand.  
"Yeah. Finally someone opened this damn door!" she sighed. "You're Lawrence's roommate, right?"  
The girl entered the room, almost fully closing the door behind her.  
"Danny Lawrence???" Carmilla insisted.  
"Yeah. So what?" the girl mumbled.  
"Look, I don't mean to bother you, but she has one of my essays, and it's due tomorrow. She said she'd give it back to me by the afternoon but I haven't seen her all day."  
The girl shrugged.  
"I'm sorry to hear that, but she's not here."  
"Yeah? Then where is she?"  
"I'm not allowed to tell. She asked me not to. So, please, you can leave now."  
She started closing the door, but Carmilla put her arm on the way.  
"You're shitting me if you think I'm missing a ten points essay for this."  
"God damn it!" the girl bursted. "Even if I tell you where she is, you won't be able to go there and get your paper back in time."  
Carmilla smirked.  
"Give it a try."  
"She's at her hometown. I don't know what the fuck it is called, I just know it's four hours away, there's no way you're getting your paper back in time, I mean it."  
"For fuck's sake!" Carmilla punched the wooden door, pretending to be mad. The girl leaped back inside, scared. "Do you at least know when she'll be back?"  
"She said she'd be back by the weekend."  
Carmilla tried not to smile at the small progress. They stared at each other for a long time.  
"M-maybe you should text her, ask her to send you a picture of it or something. I bet she's still awake."  
"Right, thank you anyways."  
The girl closed the door before Carmilla could finish the sentence. Carmilla went back to her room. Laura was still asleep. She sat in her bed, closed her eyes, thought of how odd it was that they were already getting distant even before she had the time or the chance to make a mistake.  
But part of the mystery was already solved. She laid her head on the yellow pillow, and as her eyes started to give in to the sleepiness, she caught herself counting the time left until the weekend, when Danny would be back and so - she hoped - would be Laura.

 

Janice talked her into going to the nearest ice cream shop. Danny promised Nick and Mel she'd bring them ice cream and candies before they could melt. Janice told them they couldn't go because there would be a big girls' talk.  
"Isn't it weird?!" Janice said, thinking about how fast they were recognised by the people in town, as she waved her spoon in the air.  
"Yeah. Honestly, I never thought of you as the pistachio-ice-cream kind of girl" Danny replied, eating a bit of her strawberry ice cream.  
"Bite me" Janice said. They laughed.  
They were sitting near the windows, Danny facing the main door. The place looked a lot more like a 50's pizzaria, with its half circle sofas and red carpet, than an ice cream shop, properly said.  
Janice studied her sister for a second, smiling subtly.  
Danny stopped eating the second she felt she was being watched.  
"What? Is there something in my teeth?"  
"No" Janice laughed. "But, hey. I'm still waiting for my answer."  
Danny sighed, pushing her empty pot a few inches away.  
"Please" Janice insisted.  
"Fine." Danny sighed again. "What do you want to know?"  
"Her name."  
Danny opened her mouth to speak, but stopped in surprise.  
"Wait, how did you...?"  
Janice leaned back on her seat, clearly offended.  
"Oh, no. Don't say you don't remember I was the first one you told."  
Danny recalled it before Janice even finished the first word.  
"Ohhh, you're right, you're totally right!"  
Janice nodded.  
"Ali..." she started saying the name to prove her point, but Danny rushed to interrupt her.  
"No, no, no, no, no. I already said you're right, let's not mention first loves and first kisses."  
"Right." Janice agreed. "But, again. The current one. Her name."  
Danny blushed.  
"It's... Okay, to be honest, I'd like to think she's not a "one"..."  
Janice adjusted her posture.  
"I know, I see it. But you can't, and you need someone to talk about it, so let's start it."  
"Fine..." Danny put her elbows on the table and ran her fingers through her hair. "Her name is Laura."  
Janice nodded, waiting for a last name, but Danny stopped there.  
"Laura Smith, daughter of John Smith, husband of Mary Smith..."  
"Laura Hollis!" Danny bursted, laughing out loud.  
Janice smiled. Score. She stole five smiles from Danny so far.  
"What did she do?"  
Danny stopped to think. Where should she start from? The brief mutual eye looks and shy smiles at the beginning of everything or the vampire apocalypse weeks later?  
"I don't think she did... anything. We were getting there. Slowly. I was too scared to make a move. Was afraid I could fuck things up. Didn't want to. I really liked her. But then someone joined the game, a third girl. She was quickier, and, perhaps, better than me." Danny looked down at the table to keep a straight face. Janice glanced at her sadly, giving her time to resume when she felt like. "And... I don't know. That was it. After that, I just lost her. There was no progress to be proud of. I just lost her but she still had me." Danny shrugged, about to give in to the tears, but then started talking faster as if it was exciting after all. "But, honestly, I don't mind it. As long as she's happy, I'm happy."  
"Bullshit." Janice said.  
Danny laughed and started crying at the exact same time. Janice quickly stood up and sat by her side.  
"God. Look at me" Danny whispered.  
"Listen, you're a Lawrence." Janice said as Danny wiped the tears away from her eyes. "You're a Lawrence, Danny. We're stupid and we don't give up until we're drowning in the shit we want."  
"That's... uplifting" Danny laughed. "But I'm not gonna fight for her or whatever."  
Janice nodded,  
"That's another big worry of mine. Talking about battles, before you get yourself any more scars, is she worth them?"  
Danny frowned her eyebrows, feeling like Janice meant to offend Laura.  
"What do you mean by "worth it"?"  
"Oh, no, no, no. I'm not trying to mock her, no, I don't even know the girl." Janice quickly said. "Let's reset the question. If she was in your shoes, how deep would she go to get you back?"  
Danny stared down at her crossed arms. She didn't know the answer. Janice and her realized that at the same time.  
"I'm already working on letting go of her. Quite frankly, it just got easier after she came after me one of these days."  
Janice's eyes enlarged a bit as if she asked "what for?"  
"To ask me if she could get an extension on a paper due the day after" Danny completed.  
Janice rolled her eyes twice.  
"You're joking."  
"Wished I was" Danny laughed. She kinda felt better saying that, talking about Laura's flaws. It helped her feel a bit certain. She was recalling more stuff like that to list them to Janice, but Janice abruptly started tapping Danny's arms frantically.  
"Oh, yeah. Oh, boy, hell yeah!" Janice laughed like a free demon, pointing at a group of teenagers who just entered the place.  
"Who's there? Justin Timberlake? Orlando Bloom? Seriously, calm your fanning self before..."  
"Shut up and clean that ice cream in your face" Janice interrupted.  
Danny didn't know what the hell made Janice act like that but quickly removed the said ice cream stain of her cheek.  
When she raised her eyes from her thumb, her heart stopped, completely froze for a second, then went back to jumping like a high frog.  
A girl shyly fell behind from the group, slowly approaching their table, sky blue eyes - even lighter than Danny's -, light brown wavy hair and enchanting smile.  
"Did I accidentaly invoke her???" Janice whispered.  
"Am I... Oh, God, I'm sorry..." the girl chuckled, exhaling insecurity. "I don't know if I bother, but... Um, hi, Danny!"  
Danny managed to raise a steady hand and wave as the rest of her body shook like a blender under the table.  
"Hi, Alison!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HE HE HE. I FINALLY MADE IT! After a whole month I came up with a fifth chapter. I don't know if you guys can tell, but I wrote it out of rush - as you'll be able to notice from my writing -, and probably by tomorrow morning I'll re-read it and realize it's trash and then question the whole thing. So if there's someone out there reading this, please, I ask you, if you enjoy the chapter, say it in the comments so I won't be stupid and impulsive enough to delete it for no reason at all! Thank you, peeps, see you guys in chapter six!

Laura clutched her phone close to her chest. It was already feeling beyond stupid typing, reading five times and not sending that fucking message. It was beyond stupid waiting for Carmilla to turn her back or leave the room to rush to her phone to do that. The screen was all wet from her breath since she now had type it hidden under her blanket. Her hands shook and after hours lacking courage she hit send, then drowned her head in her pillow.

Danny tried her best not to look right into Alison's eyes. Damn, she grew up into an even prettier girl. Danny just hoped she'd leave as quick as posible so she'd stop shaking. Janice, on the other hand, stood up and hugged Alison, greeting her like a house seller would.  
Danny thought of standing up too, but as she started sliding to the end of the seat, her phone blipped on her back pocket. For a second, her brain went totally blank. She was nearly having a panic attack for not knowing how to deal with her first girlfriend being there, right in front ot her, when she was so heart-broken for someone else, that it was actually weird everything seemed to halt for her to reach for the cell phone. She did. She picked it up, pressed the unlock button, but before she could draw the unlock pattern, Janice took it from her hand with an angry smile.  
"How long has it been since the two of you saw each other, Danny?!" she said nervously and gently at the same time. Danny just frowned her eyebrows and shook her hands in the air at the best wtf expression she could throw. Were they playing in their room and Janice just took the damn doll from her hands? Oh. No. They were in the ice cream shop and Janice was playing her best old sister game. She could totally tell it was THE person texting Danny before Danny could. Danny took a deep breath and tried her best not to be mad. She looked at Alison and smiled the anxiety away.  
"Uh, I, I don't know. Like... five years, maybe?"  
Alison smiled in response, and Danny accidentally felt good for still having that effect. Her heart, though, felt like a truck had smashed a pole and all the power line fell on top of it. Her veins were pure heat but her skin was nearly frozen.  
"Yeah" Alison replied.  
Danny quickly glared back at Janice, who read the text then locked the phone screen during a mean eye-roll.  
"Oh, damn" Danny thought, and now her feet were solid attached to the ground. She was being ripped in half by being extremely mad at and about to punch her sister's face AND shaking entirely bc Alison. Maybe that was the reason behind the cold-heat thing. She tried to focus on Alison. She wasn't able to tell for sure under the storm in her brain if she wanted her gone or if she wanted to ask her out. But she needed to read the text before Janice could delete it, that she could tell.  
"Um... What have you been up to?" she mumbled. Alison seemed pretty confused.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Like, with your life? I mean, are you in college or something?"  
Alison laughed nervously. Everyone was nervous there. Except for Janice and anyone in the shop but Danny and Alison, of course.  
"Uh, not yet. I've been trying to save some money first, you know? So I got a job. That's... That's it, I think. That's what I'm up to" and another nervous chuckle.  
"Cool! Wanna go out for a coffee tomorrow?" Danny spoke out loud, auto-damn-matically. Janice halted. She even leaned in to make sure she just heard that. Danny told herself to look back and question her the same but her brain was still trying to understand what it had just done as well. She slowly faced Alison again.  
"Or... Lunch?"  
Alison's eye were wide open, and so was her mouth.  
"Uh, yeah" she chuckled. "Yeah, sure. Where do we go?"  
Danny could feel her blood calming down a bit. She breathed in really slow, trying to push away all the tension. She was freaking scheduling a date during a panic attack. AND THE DAMN PHONE WAS STILL ALL SHE COULD THINK OF? She blinked twice, took her time to realize the chance she was accidentally getting, all out of pure rush to get something else. She closed her eyes tight, breathed out, and it was like all the steam got out with it. She opened her eyes and faced Alison solely. She said yes. Yeah, the girl from her past, the fucked up first love everyone has, that still open cold case from your childhood, standing there, waiting for her to set a date. She was impressed she managed to focus on that. To hell with that damn phone! Maybe Janice was right - yeah, her eyes were about to pop out behind Danny because she couldn't process that amount of corage all at once, but about Laura, she was right. To hell with... Laura. And also, it was just a lunch. If by tomorrow she realized she didn't want a chance with Alison, she'd have her mind cool to say so.  
"Well, I don't know much about the neighborhood any longer. Maybe you could guide me throughout and take me to your favorite place?"  
She heard Janice go "w-WUT" behind her, and it was indeed refreshing. She put a sweet smile on her face and waited for Alison's response.  
"Uh, alright, sure! By... noon?"  
Danny nodded.  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll hit your place by noon" she smiled. "Do you still live in that house, with your parents?"  
The question was pretty simple and its intentions were set clear to both of them, but a trace of shame crossed Alison's expression for a second and Danny thought she brought everything to the ground. Alison seemed to realized Danny's regret, then raised her hands quickly, accidentally bumping her fingertips into Danny's arms.  
"I... I'm sorry. It's just that I'm still working on that, you know?" Alison chuckled "Not living with my parents any longer. Since... they don't take it..."  
Danny breathed out, relieved.  
"Yeah... I know it. I'm sure you're on the right path, with the job and so..."  
Alison nodded. She couldn't tell Danny's blood was almost kicking her from the inside out saying "get it gurl!!!"  
"Yeah. So, tomorrow, noon, my house?"  
Danny nodded. "Tomorrow, noon, your house".  
Alison smiled. Danny smiled. Janice sat down in shock.  
"Aye, see you there!" Alison said excitedly, waving a goodbye then clumsily walking back towards her folks.  
Danny sat down by Janice's side, slowly reaching for her about-to-melt ice cream. Janice sure as fuck wouldn't put everything in danger by asking her if she did, but she was almost sure Danny did not remember about the phone. So as Danny slowly licked another bit of her ice cream, mouthing to Janice a "did you see what just happened?", she quietly pulled out Danny's cellphone, drew the unlock pattern she had already learned by heart from the last hours of Danny patiently staring at it waiting for a text, and read the message for the first time. She frowned her entire face at how childish the writing style was, but kept on reading.

From: Hollis  
Come quick, stuck in my room, bring something. I miss you :/

And as a good old sister watching out for her younger, Janice stretched her thumb to the top left of the screen, and deleted the message.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right, so I'd like to, first of all, thank all of you for dropping your kudos on last chapter and letting me know I shouldn't delete it. Your support was greatly needed for me to write chapter six, and a special thanks goes to that one fam who came to my inbox on Tumblr on anon asking when I would publish this chapter. I was having a somewhat cry baby week (issues with mi madrecita) but you guys put me on the line and kept me in the mood to write it asap! THANK YOU A LOT, ILY <3

Danny and Janice went back to their mother's house. Janice described the scene Danny just unknowingly caused five times on the way back, and Danny was finally understanding what she got herself into.  
"Oh my" Danny whispered, facepalming herself in denial as they dropped some blankets on their old bunk bed. "And she said yes?!"  
Janice had pretty much been nodding and giggling for the past 20 minutes. She looked even more silly because of her grown up's pajamas.  
"And it's like you were drunk the whole time, y'know? You dropped that invitation so out of the blue and now you can barely recall it. But let's be honest", Janice smirked and elbowed her young sister. "You haven't seen each other in ages and she almost said yes before you have finished the sentence. I smell something. Teenage lovers."  
Danny could not fight back the proud smile taking over her face as she let herself fall onto the bottom bed.  
"The only thing I smell, unfortunately, is the smell of a dead body flowing out of your feet. Where the hell did you get those socks?"  
"These are mine" Janice replied, throwing her pillow right down at Danny's face. "Alright, so let me see if I got it right. You really expect me, and elderly, to climb this damn thing to sleep and then climb it back down tomorrow?" she grumbled, pointing at the top bed.  
"Yeah, ain't you a tough LA cop or something?" Danny chuckled.  
Before she could actually do something about it, Danny had her pillow violently pulled from under her head.  
"HEY" she shouted.  
"What? Ain't you a tough sport worm or something? Not to mention I'm your oldest sibling. I make the rules."  
"FUCK THE RULES" Danny roared, sending a puppet dog right at Janice's teeth. In five seconds they were chasing each other throughout the house, howling and dodging the furniture like apes.

Laura forced herself into sleep in order to not have to face the clock laughing at her for how long it had been since she had sent that message. She woke up the next day with the sheets glued to her face because of how much she had sweated. She just couldn't believe it.  
She glared at her phone one more time. Not a single damn message. She couldn't even remember the last time she had to wait more than ten minutes for a text back from anyone ever. And Danny?! She couldn't even record a Vine before Danny appeared once she texted her.  
She was probably dead.  
Laura caught herself diving her nails deep down on her old phone keyboard and tried to pretend it was not loneliness anger.  
Loneli-what?!  
Carmilla was right next to her, probably dreaming about her, and all she could think about was that stupid reply that somehow didn't manage to reach her.  
She closed her eyes, falling back onto her bed, then stood up and went to the shower. She didn't even know what day was it, but telling from all the chatter on the hallway, she could tell it was a week day. She left the shower with the same done expression she entered, dressed herself and waited for Carmilla to wake up so she could kiss her a good morning kiss and then left with her backpack, heading to LaF's room.

Carmilla wasn't stupid. She had some decades of experience on facing evasive behavior. She knew when things were going downhill. She waited 'til Laura was gone so she could think straight. That was it. There was nothing else to do about it. Her love was not enough to keep her and making an effort to do so would not only ruin her broody status but also was nothing but worthless. In situations like these, there is only one thing you can do, and it's called leaving first. You'll still come out empty handed but with some pride to move on.

By the time Laura got to LaF's and Perry's dorm, waves and more waves of busy students had already bumped shoulders with her. She was kinda worried both of them would have already left for class and she would be left alone with her thoughts and no one to talk the anger out. She knocked on the door hesitantly, and as the wait for a response increased, she realized how stupid she felt. Asking for advice on love (??!!?!) triangles was indeed the rock bottom. But then the door click opened and she didn't have a choice but stay.  
"Oh, hey Laura!" Perry greeted her with a gentle smile, then frowned her whole forehead, and that was Perry for "what are you doing here?".  
"Um, hey! How are you doing?" said Laura on an attempt to keep breaking the ice.  
"Pretty good" LaFontaine said, showing up behind Perry with a wide, mad scientist smile on their face. "Have you heard of the turf wars now that the Dean is gone? The Alchemy club is using all sorts of rated Teen bio weapons against the Zetas and Summer Society" they chuckled lightly.  
Perry rolled her eyes and went back to face Laura;  
"We're fine, how about you¹"  
"Uh, yeah, just fine too" Laura giggled, but noticed she could not even convince herself. "Do you guys have any classes now? Or are you free? I was wondering if we could talk a bit, you know. Just... random stuff."  
LaF started talking about a super exciting biochemistry lecture they were about to attend, but Perry elbowed them quickly.  
"I'm sure LaFontaine is pretty busy, but I have a sort of skippable class right now, so I'm free!" Perry stated, widening her eyes and nodding fondly. "LaF, sweetie. Hurry up before you're late for the lecture, yes?" she said to LaF, who just shrugged and smiled on their way to the hallway.  
"Hell yeah. Bye, Laura!" they said waving a goodbye while disappearing among the other students.  
"So" Perry continued, leading Laura into their room. "What's happening?"  
Laura just sighed and sat on the first bed. The room was completely clean and smelled like lavender. She had never had deep conversations about feelings with anybody, of course, being only child of a single dad. Well, she actually always told him enough of her life so he wouldn't feel left out of it, but there were some of her personal issues - mainly girl issues - she prefered to keep to herself. She felt like she was already getting more than enough struggle from her dad, and for that she was grateful. Keeping him working at 200%, full time mom-dad seemed just too much.  
And now she was face to face with Perry, knowing exactly she'd have to come up with something if she intended to leave any time soon.  
"Well" she started. "It's... Carmilla. I think"  
Perry just nodded, letting her continue. But Laura was desperately out of ideas.  
"Uh, I don't jnow, I think that's it"  
Perry frowned her eyebrows.  
"What? That's it? She didn't do anything or...?"  
Laura sighed again and took more time to think.  
"For a moment" Perry rambled while letting her keep on thinking, "I thought it was something to do with Danny".  
Laura raised her eyes open wide so fast at her that she leaned backwards a bit wondering if she said a bad word or anything similar.  
"Wait, did I say something I shouldn't?" Perry asked in a worried tone.  
"No, it's just..." Laura waved her hand and blinked repeatedly at the same time.  
"I'm, I'm sorry, I don't know if I did" Perry whispered roughly.  
"It's just that it does" Laura managed to speak.  
Perry stopped for a second in a confused expression.  
"You..." she said for no reason, then glared at the walls while thinking. She then gasped and waved her hands in the air like they were on fire. "You have something... for Danny!!!"  
Laura took her hands to her own mouth. It sounded even more desperate coming from someone else's mouth.  
"Since... Like, when did you know?" Perry asked.  
"I... I don't know, I actually don't know if you can actually call it... a thing. It just that. It's not such a big deal" Laura's words were nearly running over each other. She was speaking so fast even Perry couldn't keep up. "It's just that she went missing or something and I haven't gotten any news, it's just driving me ins... worried!"  
Perry shrugged, giving a break on all the short breath, because at least she knew the answer for this one.  
"Yeah, she's not actually missing" Perry chuckled. "She just went to her home town to visit her family, her older sister took a week off from her job in the US and wanted to visit her" she kept on as if it was no big deal.  
Laura's eyebrows frowned heavily.  
"She. She is just travelling?"  
"Yeah, why?"  
"Why wouldn't she tell me?!" Laura bursted.  
"Well, I frankly don't know."  
"Yeah" Laura interrupted. "I mean, she got to tell everyone except for me?"  
Perry stood up, slowly, but as if she was deeply offended.  
"She didn't tell everyone, Laura. She told me and LaFontaine, and also some teachers. And, oh!" she covered her mouth in panic "Now I recall her asking us not to tell you."  
Laura stood up so fast the sheets almost flew from the bed.  
"Uh, so I'm the only one who's not meant to know it??? Right!!! This is exactly what she wanted. She wanted me to miss her, that's why she disappeared not leaving a trace."  
"You miss her?" Perry asked innocently.  
Laura just glared at her.  
"That is not the main question here. I'm fed up. Do you know a way I can talk to her?"  
Perry shrugged, eyebrows frowned, casually picking her phone from her bed and checking the screen.  
"Did you try her phone? I don't know, she had been texting me regularly."  
"YEAH, OF COURSE!" Laura yelled, ripping the phone from her hands. "I'M ALSO THE ONLY ONE SHE WON'T TEXT BACK!"  
After three times typing it wrong because of how much she was shaking, Laura managed to dial Danny's number correctly, then pressed the call button with the determination of a hitman about to go on a killing spree.

Danny woke up with the noise of her ringtone exploding her eardrums and a hot pillow attached to her face. She clumsily started crawling out of her bed, until she realized she would fall face to the floor from the top bed.  
"Oh my GOD!!!" she shoutted, trying to get down. "Can someone pick it up for me?"  
Suddenly the ringtone faded out and Danny was already on her way to the living room, where her phone seemed to be.  
"You're kidding me, right?" Janice stood in the hallway with the phone on her hand, glaring violently at Danny.  
"Did... did you pick it up? Who was it?"  
"It was your alarm, jackass!" Janice said roughly. "It's 9am. Aren't you missing something?"  
Danny just raised her hands, unable to recall it, and then brought them fast to her mouth.  
"OH SHIT. ALISON!" Danny smiled like a fool.  
"YES" Janice confirmed. "Go wash your face, brush your teeth and get ready to come back home with that chick!!!" she yelled, and even though hesitantly, Danny readily ran to the bathroom, grabbing some fresh clothes first.  
Janice chuckled at the whole situation and at how excited her sister was. She felt like a cupid. But there was still one thing left. Danny's phone started vibrating again and Janice rushed outside before Danny could hear the ringtone again. She pressed the green button and quickly brought the phone to her ear.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" the person with a sort of childish voice yelled on the line.  
"Listen here, you little brat. I want you out of my sister's life at least for a week. Don't mind calling again or I swear this phone will accidentally fall in the toilet" said Janice hanging up and clutching Danny's phone so hard her fingers went totally white. That would keep the problem away for some time.


	7. Chapter 7

Laura stared at the wall ahead, unable to process the whole thing. Perry just glared at her waiting for an answer.  
“So?” she asked. “What happened? What did she say?”  
“It was her sister” Laura whispered. “It was her sister the whole time” she pushed Perry’s phone back towards her and picked up her own.  
“So… what are you gonna do? You’re not telling Danny I let that one out, right? Please?” Perry begged worriedly.  
“No, relax” Laura mumbled. “I’m calling her phone again”  
“What?!” Perry’s eyes enlarged a bit. “But Laura, didn’t you just say it was Janice? Janice is the one using her phone. Isn’t that a sign she doesn’t want you around?”  
The last phrase hit Laura like a truck. That was the last sentence she’d heard from Danny’s mouth earlier that week. It was actually a bit hard for her to believe it. She just remembered the whole sentence, but it seemed like a joke to her. She was somewhat mad, confused and skeptical about being so bluntly left out.  
“It doesn’t matter” she mumbled again, redialing Danny’s number on her phone. “I’m not giving up just because of some delusional, overprotective sibling who knows nothing about what’s going on.”  
“Well…” Perry whispered. “If she’s so mad, I suppose she knows enough…”  
Laura counted until ten, trying to ignore what Perry said, then left a heavy breath out and hit “call”.

Danny ran out to the sidewalk as if she was jogging.  
“Go, now!” Janice screamed, waving her arms in the air. Danny nodded, stopping to tap all of her pockets.  
“Wait” she said. “I’m missing something.”  
“Yeah! Your date!” Janice replied, pushing Danny onwards.  
“No” Danny insisted, waving a steady index finger in front of Janice’s face. “My phone. Give it to me.”  
Janice halted for a second and then sighed.  
“Come on, Danny. This thing is not gonna help you right now. I don’t want you to have the option of staring at your phone screen when things start getting awkward.”  
“Well, you do have a lot of faith in me, don’t you?” Danny laughed. “Now seriously, hand it over. I promise I’m not going to use it to escape awkward moments. Besides, I need to let her know I’m leaving the house.”  
“Don’t worry, I’ll text her” Janice smiled, turning around, but Danny grabbed her by her shoulders.  
“No, no, no. I’m really thankful for you babysitting my phone so far, but now it’s time to give it back to its mom.”  
“Oh, come on” Janice brought her left hand to her forehead. “Alright. Just promise again you’re not messing things up because of some random message” she said, giving Danny the phone.  
“Aye, captain” Danny picked up her phone, turned around and reached the sidewalk again. She wandered through her contacts hoping she’d find Alison’s number, and once she found it she started typing an “I’m on my way”. But the screen suddenly went completely black and then a standard faceless icon showed up with that one surname under it and those damn flickering red and green lights. Pick up or not pick up?  
“God damn it!” Danny cursed, stopping at the corner of the street and looking back at her house to see if Janice was still there spying her. God damn it three times. She just assured her she would do her best to not ruin the date, and that’s how it was starting? She ignored her phone for a moment, trying to think of how fast she’d get there if she just kept moving and took a shortcut, among other things such as why wearing light clothes would help her not sweating, but then the earthquake her phone was causing in her hand just became way too annoying to let go.  
WHAT? SPILL IT. WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU? She thought of saying while bringing the phone to her ear. But all she could let out was a soft hello. And she got nothing but silence from the other end of the line. For a second, she even pulled her phone back near her eyes to check if she didn’t accidentally hang up, but then she heard Laura’s voice fading in as she brought the phone back to her ear.  
“Hey… Is that you now?” she asked in a low tone, and Danny could almost picture her rubbing her tiny hands against her arms while saying so.  
“Uh, yeah” Danny answered, pulling her hair back as if someone was looking. “W-why, why would it be someone else?”  
“No, never mind” Laura left all her breath out. “It’s just that… I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday, or even before that, and I didn’t get a reply, so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay…”  
“Yeah, I’m okay” Danny interrupted by rush, letting out a low, proud chuckle.  
“Between us” Laura resumed.  
“Hm, yeah. Like, what do you mean?” Danny asked, frowning her eyebrows.  
“I don’t know, I just want to be sure you’re not holding any dear against me.”  
Danny laughed out of sarcasm, suddenly realizing what Laura actually meant. Or at least what anyone would get from it.  
“Oh, right! You called me for a matter of clean conscience, not because you were worried about how I feel!” Danny’s voice blasted on Laura’s cell phone. “Yeah, you’re okay, you’re just fine, you’re still the hero facing a dilema, not the villain. I’ll call you in case things chase so you enough have time to save your sweet naïve girl reputation” Danny groaned, pulling her phone back to her eyesight, ready to press the hang up button, but she could still hear Laura’s voice from the distance. Her teeth were so tightly close there was not a single noise coming out of the contact. She brought the phone back to her ear giving Laura no time to proceed. “WHAT IS IT?” Danny asked.  
“It’s just. Ugh” Laura gasped, as if considering what she was about to say. “I miss you. When are you coming back?”  
Danny just put her phone down and closed her eyes with all of her strength. She tried closing them a bit more, and then another bit, until they started to hurt.  
“I don’t care if you miss me” she thought, gathering her fingers into a fist. “You’ve never done anything to help me when I was the one missing you, you actually even invited me into your room to ask me for a God damn extension to let me know exactly how unimportant I was, so why the fuck should I go after you now? I’m far, far away from you and from Silas, and that’s all you need to know. I don’t care how much that might hurt you. I actually hope it hurts you as bad as it hurts me, ‘cause then you might know what it’s like to go unnoticed. Besides, you have enough toys to keep yourself busy when your favorite ones are out being repaired, right? You had me when Carmilla was supposedly dead and in case you actually mean any of the shit you’re saying you still have her to give yourself the time to forget me right this second, probably even right before you, so just hang the fuck up and let me keep moving instead of calling me and pulling me back just because you got bored” she sighed, and only then realized that her phone was actually glued to her ear. It was not a loud thought. She said everything. And again, there was nothing but silence on the other end of the line. Nothing but the sound of her own worn out breath travelling her ears while waiting for a feedback.  
“Keep moving?” Laura asked after a long pause that almost made Danny think she hung up.  
Danny sighed, resuming her walk. “Just stay away from me, Laura. That’s all I am asking you” she finished the call. She took maybe three steps ahead until the phone rang again. She brought it back to her ear and didn’t have the time to say anything. It was like those two seconds were enough for Laura to figure out what to say. Of course they were. Laura spoke like a machinegun.  
“If you think getting out of my life for a week will make me apologize for anything I’ve done to you, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re terribly wrong. You either come here and face me and summon up the courage to say what you just said to my face or you pretend we don’t know each other’s name when you’re back. That’s childish. It’s like your locking yourself in your room to avoid me, but worse, ‘cause you’re like… Locking yourself in another town! I. Miss. You. Want me to repeat it? I’ve been missing you a lot. And not in the “I miss my old toy” sense of the word! Carmilla has been one hell of a fun source, if you’re asking to hear it. But somehow I still catch myself thinking of how you are feeling, wondering where you are and if you’re still mad at me, and yeah, it is new for me too. I was not supposed to be thinking of you when I have everything I thought I could need. And that’s making me nervous. So quit acting so unreachable ‘cause it’s mother freaking selfish, and none of us is getting anything from it. Can you cut that bullshit and please tell me when you’re coming back?”  
“You’ll find me in class” Danny said, wanting to hang up, but thirsty for a response.  
“That’s not what I asked” Laura mumbled.  
“In enough time for you to not be feeling any of this anymore” Danny said, hanging up and not giving herself the chance to reach for her phone once again. She kept moving and before she could undo her mad face she was already in front of Alison’s house, doing her best to look just fine.  
Alison was sitting by the staircases to the balcony and stood up as soon as she saw her, but Danny was getting real nervous for not feeling excited.  
“So, what’s the plan for today?” Alison asked, trying to break the ice.  
“It’s… uh…” Danny shrugged, trying to think of something, but the argument was still echoing in her brain like a table tennis ball unwilling to shut up. Danny ran her fingers through her hair, untying the ponytail and lightly pushing Alison onwards. “Actually, I just had an argument with someone and I don’t know exactly where to go to forget it.”  
Alison kept looking at Danny, but nodded slowly as if she could help. “Okay… So, shall we just walk so you can share what you want?”  
Danny shrugged one more time, not sure of how much of the date she had already destroyed until that moment. They started moving and Danny started explaining about this other girl but then Alison stopped abruptly, blocking the sidewalk in an unswerving way, which was pretty unusual for her.  
“Can I ask you one question?” she said, blinking hard because of the sun.  
“Yeah, why not?” Danny replied.  
“Can we… just not talk about it, and instead we go straight to the part that might actually please any of us?”  
“What… What do you mean?” Danny asked, unable to understand any of what Alison meant, but Alison just suddenly put her left hand on Danny’s jaw line and pulled her close for a quick, straight-to-the-point kiss.  
Danny stepped back afterwards, a bit too stunned and numb due to the blunt end that was put to the problem, and then beamed at Alison’s face at the sunlight.  
“We’re. We’re right in front of your house.”  
Alison then turned around, glaring at her house and widening her eyes on the way back, covering her mouth at the realization.  
“NO WAY!” she whispered, pulling Danny a bit further, until they were almost tripping on each other’s heels.  
“That’s okay, we’re already far” Danny shouted while laughing.  
They just stared at each other before that predictable awkward moment, and then resumed walking until they got to a secluded park. They sat by one of the benches, and Danny just dropped everything before she could give herself the chance to pull Alison a bit deeper into the whole thing.  
“I’m mad at someone, and I don’t want you to feel like I asked you out just to forget that person. When I saw you yesterday, I honestly just lost it, you know.”  
Alison grinned, staring deeply at Danny’s eyes, but then facing away to avoid interruptions.  
“I lost it because… Anyone else could just show up and I’d keep having a time for myself, but then you showed up and then… And then… I don’t even know how to explain it. It’s not any of your fault” Danny tried to look up at her for more than five seconds. And Alison looked extremely guilty, trying to focus on the trees up ahead, but Danny could see her swallowing the words back. “I… Don’t blame yourself for this. Man, I’m just so terrible to put it into words lately. And back then we were able to finish each other’s sentences” Danny smiled, and so did Alison. She took a deep breath and then looked back at her shoes.  
“If it was someone else, you’d have no trouble carrying on. But we’ve always lacked some closure” she sighed, freezing Danny with her eye look.  
“Yes…” Danny whispered, not sure if she should just reach out for Alison’s shirt or shoelaces or anything to make it sound casual.  
“And I suppose you found me at the same time you were stuck in another cold case of yours” she chuckled, Danny started cracking her fingers out of shame.  
“Don’t say it like that… If I had the chance to end this whole thing with… you know, the other person, and then give you full attention, you can bet I would do so.”  
“Yeah, but you’ve got both business to solve now.”  
“Yes…” Danny replied, finally reaching for Alison’s chin. She just smiled a sad smile and closed her eyes at Danny.  
“I’m sorry for showing up yesterday night, in that case.”  
“No, don’t say that…”  
“No, I mean it, don’t take it as a self-pity speech” she laughed. “I mean it as in I really wouldn’t mind full attention.”  
Danny laughed. Alison slowly opened her eyes, still looking down, now at her own hands.  
“So… What do you say? We should save this conversation for five or ten years from now?”  
Danny slightly let go of her chin, and just shrugged.  
“I don’t know. Would any of us mind the wait?”  
“Nah… We’ve always been the best procrastinators.”  
They both laughed. Shy tears started forming on Alison’s eyes, and Danny felt like her lungs were now beating against glass shards.  
“So, we’re cool for now. Call me up when it’s time” Alison said, standing up, putting on a standard smile, and offering her hand for a handshake.  
Danny remained seated, not sure what was the most polite thing to do, so she just stood up suddenly but slowly, shook her head in a positive sign, and wrapped her arms around Alison’s waist really tight, then let her head rest on her shoulder. Alison started to say something but Danny just let the urge of showing her she would actually still think about her take over the situation, then passionately ran her fingertips on her jaw and stepped ahead for another last time. She kissed her the slowest her heart let, taking her arms back to Alison’s waist, giving her the confidence to get closer, and so she did.  
“This is not a goodbye” Danny whispered, slightly pushing Alison’s waist a bit away. “This is more like a see you later.”  
“Yeah” Alison chuckled. “Not the first one, either. We both know the drill. Do not hang onto this, and see you in another ice cream shop, one of these days…”  
Danny nodded, now looking back at the way out of the park.  
“So… That means I’m the one you’ll come after in the end.”  
Danny laughed, actually realizing that was it.  
“What?” Alison blushed. “That’s it, isn’t it? If we did not have any chances, this would have been a goodbye, not a see you.”  
Danny grinned, instinctively pulling Alison for another kiss, biting her lips instead of just letting go at the end.  
“That’s right, ma’am” Danny whispered calmly at the girl’s lips. “That’s just right.”  
They left the park, shared a silent hug on Alison’s doorsteps, and then split ways. Ten minutes later Danny was crying quietly under four layers of blankets in her old bunk bed, waiting for anything to come and save her from running right back towards Alison’s house. There was nothing to help her. That day was just like a void. Every time she stood up to get a glass of water or just wander around the house, she’d find Janice with her arms crossed five or six feet away from her, knowing exactly what Danny chose even though they haven’t shared a word. Janice seemed mad but somewhat understanding, not that she would let Danny know exactly what she thought. Danny went back to her bed, fell asleep into a dreamless nap and only woke up to her mother announcing lunch was ready. Danny sat down slowly and as she crawled out of bed Janice showed up on the hallway holding her phone, then put it right down at her hands. Laura’s number awaited on the dialing screen, and before Danny could even protest, she just hit “call” and walked away, mumbling old sister’s words on the way out.  
“Tell her you’re going back tomorrow night, but don’t let her know it’s because of her.”  
Danny nodded even though Janice was not seeing it.  
“Hi…” Laura picked it up.  
“Hey…” Danny mumbled, still dizzy because of the nap and you know what else. “Just calling you to let you know I’ll be back by tomorrow night, maybe a bit later, but… Yeah. Anyway, I just have some other things to solve, but that’s it. It looks like I’ll be there by tomorrow night.”  
“Um… Great” Laura replied, dropping her pencil case and some notebooks from her desk while trying to lean onto it, relieved that Danny couldn’t see it – and also hoping she couldn’t hear it. “See you tomorrow night, then” she quickly hanged up, falling onto her bed, using her phone to try and cover her smile.  
On her bunk bed, Danny felt a similar strange rush. She leaned her head against her pillow one more time, pulled her arms up and stared at the entire room trying to understand why she was no longer mad. Instead she was just filled with the scary sensation that she didn’t actually want to work on any of these closures.  
“Oh, crap…” she slapped her own face feeling the taste of Alison’s lips on hers, accepting it would take a while for it to happen again. “Oh crap” she mumbled again, standing up a bit numb because despite of that morning, there was the same silly Danny Lawrence of always, partially melted after hearing her voice, secretly guessing what Laura’s lips would hopefully taste like any time soon, hitting her head on the doorframe and cursing herself for not building up anger enough to even make it through a simple ten seconds phone call.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More than TWO years later, here we are... Boy, what a trip. It's been so long since I last had any contact with any Carmilla-related content! My life has changed completely and I'd never guess I'd ever go back to writing this, but, once again, here we are! I'm almost 21 now and I can hardly remember the last chapters of the series, I've been gaming so much and I was, like, dragged into The Last of Us universe and I'm even writing a fanfic on it, so I'd NEVER guess I'd be here again, for real! But then Elise - thank you sestra - comes to me on Whatsapp saying she won't let me write anything until I give this work some CLOSURE... That's okay. Besides the pressure of an avid "reader", there has always been this tiny thing dragging me straight back to this sad ship anyway... Hollence... Maybe because MY FUCKING ID ON PLAYSTATION NETWORK IS HOLLENCE5EVER HUH?! LMAO! SO! BACK TO WORK, I put this random chapter up to see if anyone was still reading it - besides Elise, of course - and I've been getting like 5 notifications every other week and that means there's no turning back now. My sincere apologies to anyone who has been seriously engaged in reading this and I hope those who were really longing for a closure are still here, and other than that, to all of those who are new to the ship, I'd say welcome and I HOPE YOU ENJOY!
> 
> EDIT: I am a really lazy person, I've been working as an English teacher (so pls correct me in case you find any grammar mistakes through the text) and also college and, you know, adulthood, so you're often gonna get random chapters written at night all out of cold coffee and most likely to be influenced by the music I'll be listening to to keep my eyes open. Right now, for example, Halsey's "Now or Never" is on, and you'll be able to notice it in Laura's speech! I mean, I hope so...  
> "Wishin' you were 'round with me, But you're in a different town than me, We've been through it all, But you could never spit it out for me"

Janice, her mom and younger siblings were all waiting on the sidewalk, and Danny was all clumsy tryna gather all the tiny things she forgot on her bed. She had her old guitar on her back, her phone almost slipping away from her pocket and the bus ticket hanging from her lips, since her hands were all taken now. If there was something you wouldn't see everyday, that would be late Danny Lawrence. And late Danny Lawrence was not to be messed with. She grabbed her jacket with the only finger she wasn't using yet on the way out and jumped to the sidewalk, almost dropping all her things onto her younger brother.  
She was supposed to leave only at 7p.m. but there was a bus leaving early in the morning. It was not even 7a.m. yet and poor Nick and Mel could barely breath through their yawning. Danny's mom was still wearing her pajamas, and even though she didn't get much explanation from her daughter's sudden decision, she could feel she had something important to do. She could feel it on her bones when there was something bugging her kids, but she didn't ask much. She just let them do whatever they thought was better. She pulled her daughter for a hug and slowly reached for Janice too, who promptly joined them.  
"Take care all the way, Danny. And don't forget to call me when you get back to campus" her mom said.  
"I won't" Danny replied, patting her mom's back and then turning to Janice.  
"Well, it doesn't matter how much I try to intervene, does it? You're always gonna do as you please" she chuckled.  
"I thought you'd changed your mind!!" Danny shouted.  
"I did, calm the fuck down" Janice laughed, pulling her sister closer for a goodbye. Their mom briefly lectured them about not saying swear words in front of the youngest, Janice apologized and then went back to pressing Danny's face in between the palms of her hands. "Text me when you get there, I wanna know how you'll handle all that shi-SHEEP" she corrected herself, grinning at her mom, who had her arms crossed in disapproval.  
"I will, I will" Danny insisted. "What is it with you all that you always feel like I'm gonna vanish forever as soon as I go down the street?!" she complained.  
"Perhaps the simple fact that you always do" Janice replied harshly. "I mean it. You'd better keep me updated on everything. And call us sometimes, you know, just to show us you're still alive under the piles of school work."  
"I WON'T miss your jokes" Danny groaned, pinching Janice's left cheek.  
They let go of each other, and then Danny proceeded to saying goodbye to Nick and Mel, hugging both of them at the same time, promising she'd be before they could even realise she was gone.  
The bus station was just two blocks away, and she still had 15 minutes to arrive there, but not having spare time always meant being late for the Lawrence. Her mom grabbed a few stuff from her hand and shoved them inside her backpack before she could turn to leave.  
"I love you" she said, pulling her back into a long, emotional hug. Danny rested her chin on her mother's shoulder, allowing all of her senses to record as much information as they could from the moment. She breathed in her mother's discrete perfume, letting it fill her lungs, slightly shaking from the sudden realisation that she wouldn't actually see them in a long time. Before she could let go of her mom, she was already swarmed around by Mel, Nick and Janice, and they were all hugging the very next second.  
"I'll miss you so much" she whispered to everyone.  
"We'll miss you too" lil Mel replied.  
They took a few seconds to sniff and wipe their noses until it was indeed too late for Danny to still be there.  
"I have to go now. I love you so" she told everyone, slowly letting go of their hands and proceeding to walk backwards on the sidewalk until they became just a blur in the horizon, all waving goodbye non-stop. She closed her eyes and let the teardrops roll as she turned around, headed for the bus station. The sun was already shinning onto her head but the morning was still cold, the breeze quietly shook the colorful leaves on the trees that passed her by. Five minutes later she was at the bus station, showing her ticket to the clerk and putting her luggage in the trunk of the bus or whatever they called it. Not until then had she realised how heavy her things were and how relieved she felt to not have anything but her phone and her blanket to carry anymore. She walked in the bus and searched for her seat. There weren't many people there travelling with her, just a young couple, a 40 year old man and a teenage boy, who seemed busy playing on his smartphone. She unfolded her blanket and pushed her seat back as to form some sort of bed, plugging her earbuds in her phone and breathing out heavily as she kept skipping all the songs that the "randomize" feature offered her. She couldn't tell if she was really in the mood for music, but that was going to be a 4 hour bus trip, so she would certainly need some distraction. She kept blankly watching the song titles as they faded out, sort of wishing it'd suddenly start raining and she would get some sad song from her phone and stare at the landscape through the raindrops as the hours crawled, but the weather was clearly decided to stay the same. Therefore she just stopped skipping the songs and accepted the one that started playing.  
"Haunting - Halsey". The title popped up on the bright screen, and she just closed her eyes and let the lyrics be heard. She didn't pay much attention to the beginning, since all the songs she had were all learnt by heart - that was another of her rules. She wouldn't download any song unless she knew how to sing throughout it - but she increasingly started paying more attention to it since she didn't have anything else to do.

"And I've tried to wash away but you just won't leave, so won't you take a breath and dive in deep? 'Cause I came here so you'd come for me."  
She pulled her hair back and opened her eyes wide, sighing and staring at the ceiling, thinking of Ali first, then letting Laura take over before the chorus.  
"I'm begging you to keep on haunting, I'm begging you to keep on haunting me..."  
She closed her eyes quickly and as hard as she could, feeling a hurricane grow inside her head. She did all she could to focus on Alison, on their unsolved romance and the uncertainty that took over both of them whenever they'd ponder if they were really meant to end up together. None of them knew the answer, in the end.  
Laura.  
Half of her brain wanted to punch her whenever that name was spoken or thought of.  
Laura.  
She thought of her name again, trying to focus on the letters, not on the face and the minor details.  
"Damn you, Hollis", she thought. "Always causing these things ever since the very first day you laid eyes on me" she pressed the earbuds harder against her ear so the song would compete against the thoughts.  
That was something she'd often catch herself thinking of. "Since she laid eyes on me", not the opposite. Part of her thought that was the truth itself since she hadn't even heard of Laura Hollis before she came to her one day asking about an essay they had to write. She had never seen her before, or at least Laura hadn't caught her attention until then, she figured. Only after that did she start thinking of her more and more. It hadn't exactly felt weird to her back then, because Danny had always had interest in girls exclusively, even though her classmates and/or friends, call them whatever you wanna call, were always trying to set her up with a boy the same height as her. She was not even annoyed. They didn't sound invasive or anything, just plain dull. She never felt a thing. Boys always turned out to be better friends anyway.  
Danny didn't feel like the last cookie in the package, as the Brazilians would say, but when a few friends from Summer Society started stating that there was some different-level eye contact going on, she realised she was indeed curious about the possible outcomes. Was Laura into her? Hell, was she into Laura in the first place? She knew she was good-looking and probably cute enough to catch Laura's glimpse, and Danny was 100% fine with her self-steem, but questions like these always strike you when you start developing feelings for someone you don't quite know, don't they? So she decided she would fit in. She started going to parties she had never really enjoyed, talking to people she had never talked to, only to see if Laura would end up bumping into one of them during a class or a party. She started doing the silliest things to push it all to the limit, hoping desperately for a sign that her friends were not just being stupid like everytime they'd call a guy over for her. If everything went wrong, she thought, she'd just shrug it off and tell them their radar had failed again. But right at the surface she knew she was hoping they were right.  
Hell, she even started searching through silly teenager magazines to check if their zodiac signs matched once she found out Laura's birthday, even though she had never believed in stuff like that! She was growing more and more interested every minute and, after some time investing on it, she felt she was indeed getting some response. One night - that fateful night when Laura's roommate disappeared - they were all headed to one more stupid party, and as Danny listened to Halsey on her earbuds she remembered how excited she was that night. She wasn't entirely sure if Laura would show up or not, but by that night they had already been exchanging a few words and friendly smiles whenever they crossed paths at the campus. When she got to the party, she went get some drink and then made her way back to the main door, where she'd always be, just so she could pretend she'd never know Laura would walk in through that door and build up all that "what a coincidence" atmosphere that I always led to more chatter. And so she did. She waited for about 10 minutes, grabbing her cell phone every now and then just to check her Facebook account and see if Laura checked in at the party - she had had the courage to send her a friend request a week before, and couldn't sleep properly until the "Laura Hollis accepted your friend request. Write on her wall" message popped up - but there were no signs of her yet. Until she decided she was gonna get some food, and as soon as she put her phone down, she saw Laura squeezing her way through the crowd, struggling to keep up with Betty's pace. She remembered how her heart skipped a little bit, almost causing her to drop her phone on its way to the pocket. She was shaking so much back then that she feared Laura would greet her with a handshake. So she tried to turn around and pretend she hadn't seen them, and shortly after Laura ended up bumping righ into the tall red-haired girl as she rushed to follow her roommate.  
Danny turned around quicker than she meant, just enough to blow up the entire plan and show Laura she had been expecting her to show up and not exactly surprised, so all she could do was say hi and hope the conversation would go somewhere.  
"Hey, hi, Laura!" Danny shouted, raising her hand to wave a "hi" sign - how brilliant, three "hi"s in the same move, but she didn't have much time to think before she'd act.  
Laura seemed to get equally nervous when her eyes met Danny's, taking a short leap and then proceeding to offer her hand for a handshake.  
"Crap" Danny thought, raising her hands hesitantly a little without noticing, ruining the idea of not showing she wasn't ready for a handshake.  
To her surprise, as soon as she put her hands down, Laura quickly went for a kiss on her cheek that almost got too close to her lips, and that made her night. As simple as that. Laura didn't say a single word right after that and just ran away, disappearing into the party, leaving Danny a bit speechless, not sure about what she should do next.  
"Stupid" she thought to herself. "You've always been the arrogant, rational one. And then you just figured you could turn out to be the dorky, smiley girl who had an obvious crush on the naive girl that seemed to have some interest in you too. And you figured everything would work out" Danny cursed.  
She spent so much time thinking about it that the bus was already two cities away from her hometown.  
She tried to stay awake for a few minutes, but after half an hour or so she was already asleep.

 

When she woke up, all the other four passengers were outside, grabbing their luggage, and she had her face all wrinkled from the nap. She stood up in a hurry, rubbing her face with the palms of her hands and quickly rolling her blanket into a messy ball. She picked up her phone, which was already off due to the auto-turn off feature for the media player, and then rushed outside, joining the clerk that took her briefcase and her guitar out of the baggage compartment.  
She mumbled a brief "thank you" as she pulled up the edge of the handle and started dragging the briefcase on the white floor of the bus station, hanging one of the straps of her guitar case on her shoulder meanwhile. When she got outside, she waved for the first cab that showed up in her field of sight. The university was not that far from downtown, where she was, so taking a cab and taking a bus would cost almost the same. She told the driver where she was headed, and in less than 10 minutes she was at the gates.  
She picked her phone to check the time. It was 11:11a.m. According to those stupid magazines she'd once read, that meant someone was thinking of her. She sighed and paid the taxi driver as he put her luggage onto the sidewalk. The two security guards that took care of the main gate greeted her as she passed by, and she stared back at her phone, suddenly considering... Should she tell anyone she was back already, or should she just go back to her room and let them meet by chance?  
Laura.  
Should she tell Laura she arrived earlier...? Because of her?  
Nope. That was a no, 10/10. She breathed out and balanced the guitar on her back, taking hold of her baggage handle again and making her way to the dorm.  
All the classes finished by 12:00p.m., so she would still have some time to take a shower and change clothes as soon as she arrived. She kept rolling the lazy wheels of her luggage down the path that took her straight to the dorms, and had some trouble finding the keys once she got to her room. Her roommate was probably studying just like the others, but still she chose to open the door slowly so she wouldn't scare anyone who could have been inside.  
There was no one. She checked the time again. It was 11:20a.m.  
She left her bag at the end of her bed, laid her guitar onto it and stretched as she went for her dresser to grab some clothes for after the shower.  
She grabbed her phone again and decided to take it to the bathroom so she could listen to some music as she took her shower, leaving it onto the sink counter, now playing something a bit more uplifting than Halsey.  
Applause, by Lady Gaga, to be more specific. She undressed herself, entered the shower and let the water fall onto her without hesitation, and did not even mind locking the door. Before she could stop herself from the embarassment, she was already singing to the song and clapping her hands along, sometimes gluing her hands to the glass and drawing pointless figures on it, since it was all blurred from the steam.  
Fifteen minutes into her shower and now she was almost disintegrating due to how hot the water was, therefore she decided to halt the water flow and consider her shower taken. Just as she closed the tap, she heard a low noise in the distance, something like a door grinding.  
She quickly went for the towel, grabbing it and wrapping it around her body as fast as she could.  
She even considered shouting something, maybe ask who was there, but she took a second to think and she didn't exactly remember closing the door. That could be the wind blowing it open.  
She picked her clothes on the counter and went back into her bedroom before she put them on, wearing nothing but the towel, to peek beyond the bathroom door to try and find the source of the noise.  
She couldn't actually see much from where she was standing, so she took another step ahead and leaned her head to check the door, just in time to find Laura walking into the room, unaware of her presence.

 

"LAURA?!" she yelled, leaning onto the wall so she could hide as much as possible, causing all of her clothes to fall - but she still had the towel.  
Laura took a shock leap almost high enough to make her hit the ceiling, instantly tripping onto Danny's bed and falling butt to the ground, bringing Danny's briefcase along.  
"DANNY?!" she yelled back. "IS THAT YOU?!"  
"YEAH, WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?" she shouted.  
"WELL, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE YOUR" Laura started. "Yo-WHO CARES? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"  
"What are YOU doing here?" Danny asked in a serious tone, coming out from behind the wall.  
"Weren't you coming at night?"  
"I took the first bus, it was a bit cheaper so-OH CRAP" she shouted, running back to the bathroom as she saw Laura's eyes widen, not sure why at the first moment. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry"  
"ARE YOU WEARING A TOWEL?!" Laura shouted so loud that Danny could hear it even with the music blasting.  
"YEAH YOU KNOW, I WASN'T EXACTLY EXPECTING ANY VISITS!" Danny complained.  
There was a long moment of silence before any of them decided to say something.  
"C-could you please hand me my clothes?" Danny asked almost in a whisper.  
"Ye, yeah, just a second" Laura said, rushing to get her clothes on the ground. She grabbed them and then walked into the bathroom staring strictly at the exit, taking one step at a time towards the shower, almost as if she was about to defuse a bomb - and not just hand some fucking clothes.  
"Laura, I'm not gonna bite you, and I'm not naked as well" Danny mumbled, picking the clothes from her hand. "But... thank you anyway"  
"Anytime!" Laura yelled, running back to the bedroom.  
Danny stood there for a second, not sure if closing the door would actually add something, but she just did.  
Meanwhile, Laura sat on her bed, a bit stunned, as if she had just shoved her fingers into a power outlet. She had this childish habit of reacting to anything as if her parents were watching her from 5ft away, so, of course, she just saw Danny on a towel, not more than that. Probably her thigh too, since Danny was too tall to just fit in a normal towel, but, well, in her mind... It almost felt like... hell. Her heart was hammering on her chest as if it were trying to break free from her rib cage. She put both her hands on it, afraid that if she didn't so, she could be heard having her heart beating faster. Why was she there in the first place? She had talked to Danny's roommate earlier that week, talking her into giving her the keys for their bedroom, saying that Danny asked her to leave some homework there while she was out. That was all bullshit, of course, but it worked.  
"I should definitely leave" she thought to herself, but what could be more awkward than sneaking into someone's bedroom, finding them half-naked and then just leaving without any explanation? Probably nothing, so she just bottled up her nerves and stayed at the exact same place.  
Ten seconds later, Danny left the bathroom - now fully dressed - with her hair partially wet from the shower.  
She slowly walked into her bedroom, first looking directly at Laura, then vaguely glancing around the room as if she was searching for something. Laura thought of asking her what she was looking for, but she could barely form the words.  
Danny quit pretending there was time to beat around the bush, so she just sat on her roommate's bed, right in front of Laura, now both of them staring directly at each other.  
For a few seconds.  
Or minutes.  
None of them knew how to start the conversation. Therefore Laura, being the invader, had to take the first step.  
"How was your trip back to your hometown?" she asked.  
"It was fine" Danny promptly answered.  
Laura nodded, as if she was sure Danny had had a great time, even though she didn't know shit about her family or her place.  
"So... You came back earlier... Why didn't you tell me?"  
"I didn't know you were gonna sneak up into my bedroom all Agent 47."  
Laura stopped for a second, then nodded nervously. She quit talking. She'd leave the next move for Danny to decide.  
Another awful minute of silence.  
Not even Danny, who was the angriest between them, had the courage to start that conversation, and went back to talking in circles.  
"So. Do we have many papers to write?" Danny asked.  
"Danny..." Laura interrupted.  
Danny cleaned her throat.  
"Yes?"  
"I... I meant that. I meant every single word..." she whispered.  
Danny stared at her for a second, not sure what to do next. She meant what? They had said so many things out of anger and desperation and... Which part was she talking about?  
"I missed you" she explained. "I have missed you. Since we stopped talking."  
"Laura..." Danny mumbled, causing Laura to quickly stand up and raise her index finger as to stop her.  
"We never talked" Danny resumed, standing up too.  
"I know what you're gonna say. I know what you think, and I swear, if you ever tell me you're just a toy to me again I'll be really really mad and..." she stuttered.  
"You're..." Danny sighed. "I regret saying that."  
"But you still meant that" Laura whispered.  
Laura looked up at Danny, deep into her blue eyes. At first the eye contact seemed too invasive, for both of them, so they looked away for a moment. But then Laura realised how stupid they were being, took a step foward so that she'd be fully in Danny's field of view, now making full eye contact.  
"I don't know what I feel anymore. For... For Carmilla. And that scares me. Things would be way easier if I could just... Stop thinking about you" she mumbled, starting to cry.  
"Laura" Danny replied.  
"I am REALLY sorry if I hurt you by telling you this, but I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I wished I could deal with this without getting you involved, but I am really sorry to say this hurts me more than it hurts you" she yelled.  
"Wait, I'm the one who's always been rejected and you're the one who hurts?"  
"STOP IT" Laura screamed, closing her fingers in a fist, pushing Danny so she'd sit back on the bed.  
"I wouldn't have to choose if you hadn't been as proud as not to tell me how you felt since it all started, in the first place!"  
"HOW COULD I KNOW?" Danny yelled back. "How could I know that it wasn't just my mind playing games, that we actually felt the same way? What if I went for it and you just... Shunned me or something?"  
"You should have told me"  
"I WAS AFRAID"  
"YOU WERE TOO PROUD"  
"I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU FELT IT TOO"  
"NOW YOU DO" Laura shouted, pushing Danny as hard as her body allowed.  
"NOW YOU DO!" she repeated. "AND WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT? HUH?" she waved at Danny so she'd stand up.  
She relutanctly did, and now they were once again face to face.  
"What are you gonna do about it?" Laura asked again, stepping onwards so her face'd be only a few inches away from Danny's. She wished she looked stronger, but the tears only reflected everything that she felt.  
Danny could see her own reflection on them.  
For real, what would she do about it?  
She stared back into Laura's eyes, her jawline, her hair, every single detail of her face she had tried not to think of during the trip back to campus.  
It was all there. Everything she had always wished for and dismissed at the same time, the girl she had always wanted to touch, less than a step away, and what would she do?  
Would she just wave three "hi"s like she did in the past, and then curse herself for not doing something?  
Could she even drag this situation for any more time?  
Laura looked deep into her soul now, and she wanted the answers.  
What would she do?

"Fuck it" Danny thought, reaching for Laura's chin and waist at the same time, pulling her as close as she could.


End file.
